The Hard Times

Curry Barker’s 2026 breakout hit Obsession has become an unmitigated Hollywood success story. Produced independently on a shoestring budget, the film has gone on to become one of the most popular horror films of the year. However, with its runaway success, Obsession is teaching lots of impressionable young people a very dangerous lesson. Namely, that going t...

WASHINGTON — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt is leaving her position as one of the nation’s top pedophile defenders but will continue to protect abusers in a less formal capacity, sources confirm.

“I got into this line of work because I am very passionate about running defense for rich, powerful pedophiles,” said Leavitt, clearly struggling under the weight of her ...

AMITYVILLE, N.Y. — Rock band Taking Back Sunday announced their plans to play a special setlist at this year’s Riot Fest featuring songs whose lyrics were heavily featured in people’s 2003 AIM away messages, sources report.

“We’re aware that our fanbase at this point is just nostalgic millennials,” singer Adam Lazzara said. “So we wanted to cater our setlist especia...

Excelsior true believer, this is a raid! The Trump administration has just announced its plan to ramp up the cartoon-villainy of ICE — actual cartoon villainy! They’re shelling out 20 million dollars to equip ICE with electro-shock gloves à la Spider-Man nemesis The Shocker! Rumor has it that this is just the first of many technical advancements ICE plans on ripping off from ...

WASHINGTON — New York Democratic Senator Charles Schumer promised that if Democrats take control of the House and Senate after the November midterm elections, they will bring a laser focus to making a prolonged Iran War more affordable, according to sources. 

“Unlike the Republicans who refuse to allow Congressional oversight of Trump’s wasteful spending on the war ...