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You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attach...


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You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time together, more sex, or more communication. You’re missing emotional intimacy. Today I’m walking you through what emotional intimacy actually is, the four things people confuse it with, why it’s so hard ...


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Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you...


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Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)

The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic ...


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You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list o...


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